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Ályktun út frá bakgrunnsþekkingu: „Lazy snake“ – Fyrsta gæludýrið

„Lazy snake“ – Fyrsta gæludýrið

Úr bókinni 10.10.10. Atvinnumannasaga Loga Geirssonar eftir Henry Birgi Gunnarsson.

 

Ég geri oft hluti sem venjulegt fólk myndi kannski ekki endilega gera, til dæmis átti ég snák fyrsta árið mitt í Lemgo. Ég var bara einn á þeim tíma og hafði lítið fyrir stafni. Kvöld eitt sat ég fyrir framan sjónvarpið og þá var fjallað um „könig“-slöngur í dýralífsþætti. Í þættinum var sagt að þetta væri meinlaus snákur sem margir héldu sem gæludýr. Það fannst mér flott.

Ég hef reyndar alltaf verið mjög hræddur við slöngur og snáka, eins og flestir, en spurði sjálfan mig þar sem ég sat í sófanum og hafði það huggulegt hvort þetta væri ekki bara málið? Svarið var auðvitað já, enda fannst mér það vera í takt við minn karakter að eiga slöngu. Nokkru síðar hafði ég komist að því hvar hægt væri að kaupa sér snák í bænum og var mættur daginn eftir í gæludýrabúðina.

Snákurinn kostaði 150 evrur og búrið undir hann 100 evrur. Þetta var allnokkur fjárfesting og þess utan þurfti ég að skrifa undir hina og þessa pappíra. Það fylgir því mikil ábyrgð að eiga snák í Þýskalandi. Það má ekki sleppa dýrinu út í náttúruna og svo þarf að sanna að dýrið sé látið þegar það deyr. Ég var lítið að velta mér upp úr því og skrifaði bara undir.

Ég skírði síðan snákinn „Lazy snake“, lata snákinn. Ég gekk það langt að ég keypti merkingu á búrið með nafninu hans. Lazy snake lifði frekar frjálslegu lífi heima hjá mér, hann læddist upp hálsinn á mér þegar ég var í tölvunni og fékk svo að skríða um gólfin þegar hann vildi.

Þjálfaranum Mudrow fannst þetta hrikalega sniðugt og bauð mér í mat eitt kvöldið og bað mig að taka snákinn með svo ég gæti sýnt krökkunum hans skepnuna. Það sló algerlega í gegn.

Það var mjög sérstakt að mörgu leyti að eiga snák. Það var magnað að sjá hann fara úr hamnum. En annað fannst mér ekki eins skemmtilegt: Ég þurfti nefnilega að gefa honum lifandi mús að éta einu sinni í mánuði. Ég skammaðist mín fyrir það og eftir þrjá eða fjóra mánuði gat ég ekki meira. Fannst það vera andstætt náttúrunni að henda lifandi mús inn í búr til snáks til þess að verða étin. Ég fékk samviskubit.

Þó svo að ég sé heltattúveraður og virðist kannski með stáltaugar þá má ég ekkert aumt sjá. Einu sinni á leið á æfingu sá ég flutningabíl keyra á fugl. Ég stöðvaði bílinn og náði í fuglinn. Fór með hann heim, gaf honum að borða og sleppti svo þegar hann hafði náð sér. Fyrir vikið mætti ég 20 mínútum of seint og það þýddi 200 evru sekt. Mér var alveg sama því gleði mín yfir að hafa bjargað lífi fuglsins var svo mikil.

Svo fór að ég gat ekki búið við þetta músadráp lengur. Dag nokkurn fór ég því í gæludýrabúðina og bað þá um að taka snákinn aftur. Þeir höfðu engan áhuga á því. Ég bauðst til þess að gefa þeim snákinn en allt kom fyrir ekki. Á endanum tók ég þá ákvörðun að henda honum í lækinn sem var við hliðina á húsinu mínu.

Ég henti honum svo bara út um gluggann af annarri hæð og horfði á hann falla beint niður. Sá hann synda svo upp lækinn, frelsinu feginn, hélt ég – þetta var svona Free Willy – augnablik sem yljaði mér um hjartarætur.

Ég sagði Mudrow frá þessum málalokum á æfingu daginn eftir. Í kjölfarið varð allt vitlaust. Um kvöldið var ég slakur heima í tölvunni og heyrði allt í einu mikinn umgang fyrir utan húsið. Þá var slökkviliðið mætt á staðinn. Um tíu manns í hópnum, allir í vöðlum og komnir í lækinn að leita að snáknum. Ég nuddaði augun því ég trúði varla því sem ég sá.

Í ljós kom að Mudrow hafði látið félaga sinn hjá slökkviliðinu vita og þar sem þetta er stranglega bannað var flokkur sendur út að leita að snáknum. Ég hló bara að þeim því ég vissi að snákurinn var löngu farinn. Fólkinu í bænum fannst þetta ekki eins fyndið og ég var litinn hornauga lengi vel af nágrönnunum fyrir að hafa látið mér detta þetta í hug.

Ég var reyndar líka skammaður hraustlega af gæjunum sem bönkuðu upp á þar sem ég hafði skrifað undir pappíra þar sem kom skýrt fram að ekki mætti sleppa dýrinu lausu. Það urðu samt engin eftirmál. Ég trúi því að Lazy snake hafi átt gott líf eftir að ég sleppti honum á vit ævintýranna.


 

Síðast breytt: mivikudagur, 20 jl 2011, 11:49 fh